How to turn job rejection into interview feedback, networking opportunities, and better career insight.
Job rejections can be disheartening, especially in labor markets where you can go through many rounds only to hear “no” at the end of a long process. The good news is that even when you don’t get the offer, you can still get value from the process.
Most interviews are done online. Some companies record interviews by default; in such cases, ask upfront whether they can share a copy with you. If they do not, you can ask whether they would permit you to record it for your own use. (If they don’t let you record even while they record, be sure to ask why.) Even if they don’t record the interview, you might be able to record the conversation yourself. Before we get to why, let’s cover an important legal point.
An important note: different states have different laws about recording conversations. In the US, some states are two-party consent (meaning everyone in the conversation must agree) while others are one-party consent (as long as one person gives permission, it’s fine), and some states have additional rules and regulations. It’s not well determined what applies to interstate calls. Likewise, different countries have different rules. Most importantly of all, I am not a lawyer, and this is not legal advice. Check with a lawyer before you record anyone.
Assuming you are recording, ideally with everyone aware and agreeing to it, this can be very valuable. Professional athletes watch game tapes. So do professional speakers, and as I’ve said many times, interviewing is a form of public speaking. This is your game tape.
You can review it yourself to hear what went well and what did not. Many of us are terrible at self-analysis; we cringe to hear ourselves talk and we have blind spots. Ask a friend, former colleague or boss, or career coach to listen and give you feedback. These days I suspect you can get decent feedback from AI. (Note: AI might only be able to parse a transcript, which would lose some tone and potentially body language and facial expressions.) No serious athlete walks away from a game without learning from it; the top players learn from every game, and you should, too.
Chances are you’ll find many things to work on. Again, professional athletes and speakers don’t try to fix everything at once. Focus on just one improvement for your next few interviews. Maybe it’s being more succinct or conveying a positive attitude. It could be how you answer certain types of questions or even the questions you ask at the end. Just focus on one thing and track it over your next few interviews. Once you have a handle on it, move on to the next area of improvement.
As I wrote in The Career Toolkit: Essential Skills for Success That No One Taught You, interviews are a great way to network. If you walked up to someone at a party and spent the next hour boasting about yourself, they’d think you’re a jerk. In an interview, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. Obviously don’t be arrogant, but we expect candidates to cut to the chase and tout their skills and accomplishments. Wouldn’t you want your network to be full of smart, accomplished, hardworking people?
I’ve kept in touch with both candidates I’ve interviewed and people who have interviewed me. I’ve kept in touch with my replacement in cases where I left a company and helped hire my replacement. After all, I liked him enough to hire him, so he’s a good person to know (and chances are at some point either one of us may get some job opportunity we don’t want and send it to the other person).
Some people like to add someone right before or right after the interview. I tend to be more selective and wait until the end of the whole process. That’s just a personal choice. If you add someone as a connection right before or after, as soon as you’re connected you can send a thank you message on LinkedIn. This has the added advantage of creating a permanent record of how you two know each other.
As a chess player, I recall at some tournaments my opponent would walk around to my side of the board. While the board had all the information on it, some players found it helped to see it from the other side. Likewise, people on the other side of the interview table may have a different perspective on the job market than you do. Unlike in chess, they do have information you don’t.
You might ask questions about how they’re finding the job market, i.e., is it moving one way or another? Such a question is best asked to the HR person sourcing resumes, and not the hiring manager. You can ask this early and frame it as a question you ask everyone because it helps you stay current on the job market.
You can also ask where they tend to find candidates, framing it as a way to learn where companies are looking these days. Again, this is best asked of the recruiter or HR, and can be done early in the process.
Both of those are general questions and can be asked in the spirit of learning. They might even ask what you’re seeing from your side of the table.
You can also try to ask how you compare to other candidates in terms of your strengths and weaknesses. This is best asked of the hiring manager at the end of the interview with him or her. This is slightly different from asking for direct feedback about yourself. Still, companies may be cautious to directly answer this. You should use your judgment about whether it seems appropriate to ask this of a particular interviewer.
Of course, all of the above questions can also be asked of a recruiter. They are much more likely to engage on those topics. They can also be the go-between on the third question or can even just answer from their own perspective of how you compare to other candidates they see for this role or similar ones.
I often encourage people to not think about a job holistically, but as a series of tasks (see “What Schools Get Wrong about Career Day”). Each time you learn about a specific job, you have a concrete example. Think hard about which parts of the job you liked and which tasks were less appealing. Even if the first part is hard, we’re often good at identifying what we don’t like (see “Career Anti-Planning”).
The job market will eventually turn, and when it does, you might be able to be more selective. Asking yourself these questions will help you select the right job for you by helping you identify what matters to you in a role and then finding a role that comes closest to it.
Getting rejected from a job is never fun. Getting dozens of them or having your resume go into a black hole over and over is even worse (see “How Many Job Rejections Are Too Many?” and “Why Companies Ghost Candidates and What To Do About It” respectively to put those circumstances in context). In negotiations (and in couples counseling, too, I believe), we teach people that you can’t control the other side, but you can control how you react to it. You can’t make companies hire you, but you can benefit from the process even when the outcome doesn’t lead to a job.
Obviously, this is all easier said than done. Keep trying; markets do turn. In the meantime, see The Career Toolkit Blog’s other interviewing and career planning articles.
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