Get more from your next conference or networking event by knowing whom to meet, why they'd want to meet you, and how to build lasting relationships.
Networking is one of the primary reasons people go to events. The Talent Bureau found the most common reason at 30% was networking and relationship building. A 2023 Kaltura survey found “44% of in-person event attendees value networking sessions the most” (p. 6 of “The State of virtual events 2023”). And yet, when most people go to these events, they don’t know how to network. Past articles like “What to Say at a Conference or Networking Event” have covered certain mechanics while at the event. Today we’ll take a 360-degree look at event networking, including how to get the most out of an event by preparing for it correctly.
No sports team ever takes the field simply by walking on it. Every game begins, prior to taking the field, with a strategy session about how specifically they plan to play that game. Negotiation students are taught to prepare their negotiation strategies prior to walking into the room to negotiate. Similarly, it helps to have a networking plan before you go to the event. Don’t worry, it only takes a few minutes, and will help you get so much more from the events you attend. AI can help and, as we’ll see in “Introducing WhoCue: Smarter Event Networking,” much of the process can be automated and organized in an app.
When you walk into a convention center filled with hundreds of people, how do you know who you should meet? That’s a tough question and hard to figure out when you have only a fifteen-minute coffee break in which to decide and meet people.
Badges will show you someone’s name and title, but that may not be helpful. Smaller companies in an industry may not be known to you. A “director of operations” title could mean different things at different companies. Trying to discreetly look up someone on LinkedIn is awkward and takes time, but those coffee breaks don’t last long.
Fortunately, a little prep goes a long way. Some events show a list of attendees ahead of time on the website or in an app. Even if they don’t, you can often see people posting about the event on social media. There may even be a hashtag for the event to make it easier. Better yet, you yourself can post, “Who is going to . . .?”, ideally including the hashtag or making one up. See who responds.
This gives you a starting list, either from the event organizer or the one you created. If the list isn’t downloadable, you can take a screenshot and have an LLM parse it out for you. Today’s generative AI can even automate going through the pagination to take the screenshots or scrape the names. (Note: make sure doing so doesn’t violate the terms of service.)
Most attendees will have some online presence (quite likely a profile on LinkedIn or other social media). You can look up the backgrounds of attendees and see who may be relevant to you. Don’t just look at titles and companies, but also look at the recent posts of the people and their companies to see what they’re currently focused on; this gives you better context and relevancy than company and title alone.
A list alone may not be helpful, since not all people may be equally relevant. I recommend grouping people into high-, medium-, and low-priority categories. While you may be tempted to do that based on seniority or power, instead I suggest doing it based on how strong your relevance is. Consider relevance in both directions, from your side and theirs. (Next week’s article “Introducing WhoCue: Smarter Event Networking” will describe the prompt that will automatically do this for you.)
Game-day preparation in sports means considering how the other team may play, so you’re prepared for it. Negotiation preparation includes thinking about what the other side may want in the negotiation, what you may want to offer or hold back. For networking preparation, think about what you offer to the other person, relationship-wise. Everyone wants to connect to the high-profile people at an event, but it’s important to ask why they might want to connect with you.
If there’s a particular person, think about the value you can provide him. Everyone’s going to be vying for his attention, so why should he spend time with you, either at the event or later? Even if you don’t have time to do this for each person, think about general propositions for classes of people. That might be by functional area (e.g., sales, finance, tech), by experience (e.g., new grads, mid-career professionals, executives), or by relation to you (e.g., customers, vendors, competitors, partners, industry media).
Think of it this way: you’ve likely had some great conversations with people at events as well as ones that felt tedious and irrelevant. What’s going to make your conversation with someone feel like the former and not the latter?
If you’re a salesperson and you just want to meet them to pitch, do better. One of the biggest complaints about event networking is that it's too salesy and transactional. More importantly, many of us get pitched multiple times a day. Pitching someone usually doesn’t bring them value. Find something that does.
You probably have things in common since you’re in the same industry. But also remember that everyone has a different perspective on it. This means, generally, you can start a conversation and share thoughts on trends in your industry. For a given person, think about what they need to know for their role and whether you can share knowledge that would help.
Remember that networking is not about collecting business cards but building relationships. Look past the sale or transactional goal you’re hoping to get today to the long-term interaction and relationship over the coming years. What will that dynamic look like? What do you bring to the table in that timeframe?
People are busy at these events. In addition to the event sessions, the expo floor, and trying to meet other people, they also have obligations at work and at home which in the best case are delayed, but often require some amount of time. This is important to keep in mind as context for your conversations.
You may be there just to learn from others. Some people attend events to sell, find vendors, create partnerships, etc. Remember, however, that the goal isn’t to close the deal there, rather it’s only to get to the next step.
Consider if you were looking for a job at an event. You find the appropriate manager at the company. You wouldn’t expect to interview on the spot and get an offer; that’s unrealistic. Rather, your goal would be to introduce yourself, make a good impression, and get her contact information so you can send your resume. Maybe if there’s enough time you aim for her to get to know you well enough to decide to not just review your resume but bring you in for an interview. Either way your goal is the next step of the process, not the completion of it while there (i.e., the job offer).
Similarly, your goal isn’t to close the sale or ink the partnership deal. Instead, your goal is to generate enough interest to get the follow-up meeting or permission to send the email. Don’t overreach; it looks desperate and you're taking away time they could spend engaging with others at the event. Of course, not every conversation needs a follow-up; sometimes it was just a good conversation and that’s the end of it.
Starting a conversation is often the hardest part. To get you started, I have a list of handy ways to start a conversation in “What to Say at a Conference or Networking Event.” If you use the free Brain Bump app, you’ll have these in your pocket for easy access (or just bookmark the page).
Of course, it’s easier if you already reached out to them ahead of time. That’s covered below.
A common question I get is how to leave a conversation. I give a few techniques for how to exit a conversation in The Career Toolkit: Essential Skills for Success That No One Taught You. Two that work well at a conference are: “I need to catch a few more people before this session ends,” and “I don’t want to monopolize your time at the conference; let me get your contact information, and I’ll follow up on <whatever you discussed>.”
Even better is if you can connect this person to someone else you met earlier. You can end the conversation by saying, “Let me introduce you to Sarah who . . . .” After you introduce the two of them, you can excuse yourself while they talk. The person you were speaking to doesn’t feel "abandoned," you exited the conversation, and you just helped two people get more value from the event. It’s a win for everyone.
Finding someone at a big event can be like finding a needle in a haystack. Fortunately, the odds can be ever in your favor by doing a few simple things.
Why hope you’ll run into someone when you can make sure it happens? Reaching out ahead of time creates a commitment and plan to meet up. Here’s a simple template for outreach prior to the event:
Hi Terry,
I see you’re going to the <event>. I’d like to connect with you while there to talk to you about <topic & reason>. Can we meet <where> at <when>? Otherwise, please suggest a time and place that works for you. My cell is <number>.
For <topic & reason>, include not just what you want to talk about but also why you think it matters to them. The reason may seem obvious, but don’t assume so. The where and when might be “by the registration desk during the first networking break on Tuesday” or “at the coffee shop just after the keynote on Monday.”
I recommend being specific with proposed times and places. Especially at larger events, there might be multiple coffee stations or bathrooms outside the main event hall, and saying the “southernmost” is likely to lead to confusion. There’s always a main room, a registration desk, and often a coffee shop.
Sharing your cell phone makes it easier to coordinate if you’re looking for each other in the crowd. At the appointed time, you can even share a photo of what you’re near to help coordinate.
You can reach most people on social media, although not everyone is active. It’s also not that hard to guess corporate email addresses. Many events these days have an app that allows you to message or request meetings. I recommend reaching out two to three weeks before the event; if you don’t hear back after a few days, try a follow-up or a different channel.
If the person you want to meet is a speaker at the event, you’ll know when and where they’ll be, but keep two things in mind. Prior to the session, she may be doing final prep or even nervous; if you catch her before, it should be brief, and just to set a specific time to engage later. After she speaks, there may be a queue of others waiting. If so, be brief. No one likes to wait five minutes to talk to someone while you have a whole conversation. Remember the goal isn’t the full pitch but rather to set up the next step (e.g., get permission for an email follow-up or set up a meeting). If you’re not asking a follow-up question for the speaker, but instead hope to build a relationship or get a meeting, keep that goal in mind. A good way to end is, “I see others are waiting and I don’t want to monopolize your time; can we set up a time to continue this discussion?”
Conferences are not unlike middle school dances; most people feel awkward, and although many want to connect with others, they’re often anxious and don’t know how. Using the approach above, instead of standing alone awkwardly during coffee breaks, you’ll be able to meet the people you want and have rewarding conversations. In my experience, many people will respond positively to non-sales outreach.
Most people go to events and simply hope they’ll have good conversations. There’s a famous saying, "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity" (which is often misattributed to Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca the Younger). The opportunity is your event. Preparing as above will create your networking luck. Define who you want to meet, why they’d want to meet you, your objectives, how to find these people, and what to say. Make your own luck.
In next week’s follow-up article, “Introducing WhoCue: Smarter Event Networking,” you can see how the completely free WhoCue app (download on Apple / Android) can automate many of these tasks for you. You may also want to read other relevant articles on event networking, including:
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